Girlfriend Won't Let Stay-at-Home Dad Work, so He Steals From Their Emergency Fund

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAhole Posted by u/Ameliaroselia 22 hours ago AITA Boyfriend (28m) stole thousands of $$$ from me (26f) Everyone Sucks 2 Final edit: he started stealing BEFORE he was home as a stay at home parent..!! It started when we moved and BOTH were not working for a few months while we traveled and he did not ask me to let him work at all during that time. He has only been asking to work more for the past few months. Regardless, we talked and he does want to be better with money. He's going
  • 02
    Font - So my boyfriend is a stay at home dad. He doesn't want to be and the main reason he does it is because I make way more than him. Likewise, I don't want to work, but I do it for our baby (1f) and for all of us to live better. We have been together for almost 4 years, and have never had a stealing issue. There have been discussions where my bf wants to go work (driving Uber) but I want him to stay home and spend time with us. I make more than enough for us to live on and I've told him many
  • 03
    Font - Recently I caught him stealing from my safe. I had money saved there because I don't trust banks and I am slightly paranoid in general of any type of emergency. Well after I counted everything I realized at least $6k was gone, probably more. When confronted, he admitted to it and said he has been doing it for a year and spent it all on eating out and virtual games. For example $100 on Pokémon go. He has nothing of physical value to show for this money, and I feel devastated that I trusted
  • 04
    Font - Edited to add he also does not clean or do domestic household work, like most women do when roles are reversed. I still do all the cleaning, and he does not cook for me. The reason I don't like him to work all the time is simply wanting family time, being lonely and tired, and I still am attending school and have homework and online class I have to do. So every bit of family time I can get I am grateful for. And in my defense I ALSO don't spend money on eating out (literally twice a month
  • 05
    Font - thethrowaway212134 22 hr. ago As hole Aficionado [19] Info: So he's a SAHD and he doesn't work, but if he needs money to buy things he need to ask you and don't have access to any of the household income. If that's the case ESH. If you're repeatedly telling him he can't work than he should have at least access to the money and not have to ask every time he wants something. He's an AH for stealing but this is text book financial abuse. 574 Reply Share
  • 06
    Font - theaseholethrowawa 22 hr. ago Partas ipant [1] Esh. Obvious reason for him. But forcing your spouse to not work. Keeping all the money locked up. Requesting he ask you permission before making any purchase. Isn't that like test book financial abuse or we all just going to ignore that 234 Reply Share
  • 07
    Font - StayFresh_Cheese Bags 22 hr. ago Going against the grain and saying YTA. If the genders were reversed, everyone would be screaming that it is financial abuse not allowing him to make his own money and you controlling a majority of the money coming into the home. Everyone needs something to do with their time, and I'm sure he would also like to contribute, as well as having his own money that he earned himself, no strings attached. It sounds like only your wants and needs are being account
  • 08
    Font - madelinegumbo. 22 hr. ago Craptain [164] ESH Let the man work. Pressuring someone not to work when they want to is, IMO, not okay. That said, it doesn't excuse him stealing from what is essentially your joint emergency fund. This whole thing sounds messed up. While I think you're wrong to discourage him from working full time, he needs to be able to talk about it and not just start taking money.

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